Here is how the average conversation goes via phone with the room service people. I order room service because the food seems better, way, way faster and I don't have six guys hovering round my table the whole time.
Paneer Kati Rolls
Press “Room Service” on the phone
R: Chugaluguttymugachartagartugartagunnartyglugga
G: Hello, is that room service ?
R: Yes sir
G: This is room 203
R: Yes sir
G: Can I order room service please ?
R: What is your room number sir ?
G: 203
R: Yes sir
G: Paneer Kati Rolls please
R: You want Panner Kati Rolls sir ?
G: Yes please
R: These are only available after 7.30pm sir
G: It says 24 hours room service
Click !
Press “Room Service” on the phone….again
R: Chugaluguttymugachartagartugartagunnartyglugga
G: Why did you hang up the phone on me ?
R: Your room number sir ?
G: 203, why did you hand up the phone on me ?
R: One moment please sir
Different man comes onto the phone…..
R: Hello sir, can I have your room number please ?
G: I have been through all this with the other man !
R: You want to order room service sir ?
G: OK, can I please have some Paneer Kati Rolls please ?
R: Your room number sir ?
G: 2…..0……3 !
R: Your order sir ?
G: Paneer Kati Rolls
R: You want Paneer Kati Rolls sir ?
G: Yes, Paneer Kati Rolls
R: Sir, Paneer Kati Rolls are only available after 7.30pm
G: 24 HOUR MENU ! 24 HOURS ! Panner kati Rolls, do you not understand ?
R: One moment sir
Long pause
R: Yes sir, Panner kati Rolls. One portion or two ?
G: You get two with the order don’t you ?
R: you want two sir ?
G: Yes please, one serving of two Paneer Kati Rolls.
R: For two people sir ?
G: NO ! Listen ! One order of Paneer Kati Rolls, that’s two rolls on one plate.
R: Room number sir
G: 2….0…3 !!!!
R: Thank you sir
Click
Press “Room Service” on the phone….again
R: Chugaluguttymugachartagartugartagunnartyglugga
G: I HAVEN’T FINISHED ORDERING !!!
R: Room number sir
G: I WAS JUST TALKING TO YOU…..PANEER KATI ROLLS
R: Yes sir
G: I WANT TO ORDER MORE
R: Yes sir, you ordered two Paneer Kati Rolls sir
G: WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN ?
R: Sir ?
G: I ALSO WANT FRENCH FRIES
R: You don’t want Paneer Kati Rolls sir ?
G: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE ? PANEER KATI ROLLS AND FRENCH FRIES, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ????
R: Room 203 sir ?
G: Yes….room….2….0….3….Paneer….Kati…Rolls….and…French…Fries
R: That will be 45 minutes sir
G: No, 15 minutes
R: 15 minutes, yes sir, no problem
Click
The service difficulties at the various places are not simply a language one, that would be easy to negotiate, it’s more of an IQ thing and most of these ones have single digit IQs it would seem. Not all are like this, just most, and again, those who have been to India will be nodding in agreement right now.
hi reading your blog and this last one reminds me so much of my trip to india over thirty years ago - same problem ordering breakfast on menu as omelet and toast after half an hour and the same sort of conversation we ended with tea because basically omelets and toast were not available but then in typical indian style it went like sorry we not butter for toast - ok dry toast will be fine - visit to kitchen - cook says no bread ok no toast- return to kitchen - no onions ok plain omelet will do - return to kitchen - no eggs ok - just tea then - why all the trips when it would be easier to tell you the menu wasnt correct but then its the only nation I have visited where two men are required to shovel dirt one to pull shovel with rope and one to push shovel nothing like sharing the job - but then again this is why india is a place we want to return to
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